Automatic E-mail replies 1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood. 2. I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you. 3. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all. 4. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management. 5. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received. 6. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message. 7. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. 8. I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted. 9. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queueing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks. 10. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.
One Question Test for Software testing position. Here's a one-question Test to help you decide how suitable You are for any software testing position: There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now, if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself? Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer...
Disney Password My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long. "Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. My computer isn't that nervous. It's just a bit ANSI. The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
You vs. Your Boss... When you take a long time, you're slow. When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough. When you don't do it, you're lazy. When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy. When you make a mistake, you're an idiot. When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human. When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority. When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative. When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed. When your boss does it, he's being firm. When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you're being rude. When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original. When you're out of the office, you're wandering around. When your boss is out of the office, he's on business. When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick. When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill. When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview. When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked
A university scholar, Mr. John Smith approaches his friend a software testing guru telling him that he has a Bachelor in programming, and now would like to learn the software testing to complete his knowledge and to find a job as a software tester. After summing him up for a few minutes, the software testing guru told him "I seriously doubt that you are ready to study software testing. It's the serious topic. If you wish however I am willing to examine you in logic, and if you pass the test I will help teach you software testing. " The young man agrees. Software testing guru holds up two fingers "Two men come down a chimney. One comes with a clean face and the other comes out with a dirty face. Which one washes his face? The young man stares at the software testing guru. "Is that a test in Logic?" software testing guru nods. "The one with the dirty face washes his face" He answers wearily. "Wrong. The one with the clean face washes his face. Examine the simple logic. The one with the dirty face looks at the one with the clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face looks at the one with the dirty face and thinks his face is dirty. So the one with the clean face washes his face." "Very clever" Says Smith. "Give me another test" The software testing guru again holds up two fingers "Two men come down a chimney. One comes out with a clean face and the other comes out with a dirty face. which one washes his face? "We have already established that. The one with the clean face washes his face" "Wrong. Each one washes his face. Examine the simple logic. The one with the dirty face looks at the one with the clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face looks at the one with the dirty face and thinks his face is dirty. So the one with the clean face washes his face. When the one with the dirty face sees the one with the clean face washing his face, he also washes his face. So each one washes his face" "I didn't think of that!" Says Smith. " It's shocking to me that I could make an error in logic. Test me again!." The software testing guru holds up two fingers "Two men come down a chimney. One comes out with a clean face and the other comes out with a dirty face. Which one washes his face? "Each one washes his face" "Wrong. Neither one washes his face. Examine the simple logic. The one with the dirty face looks at the one with the clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face looks at the one with the dirty face and thinks his face is dirty. But when the one with clean face sees that the one with the dirty face doesn't wash his face, he also doesn't wash his face So neither one washes his face" Smith is desperate. "I am qualified to study software testing. Please give me one more test" He groans when the software testing guru lifts his two fingers "Two men come down a chimney. One comes out with a clean face and the other comes out with a dirty face. Which one washes his face? "Neither one washes his face" "Wrong. Do you now see, John, why programming knowledge is an insufficient basis for studying the software testing? Tell me, how is it possible for two men to come down the same chimney, and for one to come out with a clean face and the other with a dirty face? Don’t you see? The whole question is - foolishness – and if you spend time allowed for testing trying to answer foolish questions, all your testing will be foolish."
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password for her computer: MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy When the auditor asked why she had such a big password, she said, Ready for this? "Hellllooooooooo! The tech support guy said that it had to be at least eight characters long."
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