Humor and Anecdotes related to Software Testing

The jester testers 3

More jokes about software testers and software testing

- How do you find out test cases I created for our new application?

- You know, accorsing to the theory of probability, if one hundred thousand monkeys randomly hit the keys of typewriters during infinite amount of time they would print out all possible test cases.

- Interesting, so what can you say about my test cases?

- Two monkeys, ten minutes.
Two software testers went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"
The testers looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.

-To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
-To the good tester, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

- There was an software tester who had an exceptional gift for finding all bugs. After serving his company for many years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million-dollar application. They had tried everything and everyone else to find the bug but the failure happened again and again. In desperation, they called on the retired software tester who had solved so many of their problems in the past.

- The software tester reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the application. At the end of the day, he wrote exact steps how to reproduce the problem and stated, "This is where your problem is."
- The bug was fixed . The company received a bill for $50,000 from the software tester for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
- The software tester responded briefly: One bug report $1. Knowing what to put in, $49,999.

- A software developer/tester convention was being held. On the train to the convention, there were a bunch of developer majors and a bunch of tester majors. Each of the developer majors had his/her train ticket. The group of testers had only ONE ticket for all of them. The developer majors started laughing and snickering.

- Then, one of the software testers said, "here comes the conductor" and then all of the testers went into the bathroom. The developer majors were puzzled. The conductor came aboard and said "tickets please" and got tickets from all the developer majors. He then went to the bathroom and knocked on the door and said "ticket please" and the testers stuck the ticket under the door. The conductor took it and then the testers came out of the bathroom a few minutes later. The developer majors felt really stupid.

- So, on the way back from the convention, the group of developer majors had one ticket for the group. They started snickering at the testers, for the whole group had no tickets amongst them. Then, the tester lookout said "Conductor coming!" All the testers went to one bathroom. All the developer majors went to another bathroom. Then, before the conductor came on board, one of the testers left the bathroom, knocked on the other bathroom, and said "ticket please."

Lesson learned:
Any test that passed in unit testing can fail in system testing.
Thanks to Michael Russell's blog
Top 10 Signs That You're Dating A Tester
10. Your love letters get returned to you marked up with 
red ink, highlighting your grammar and spelling mistakes.
9. When you complain about him spending too much time with 
you, he replies that he's in the middle of a soak test.
8. He keeps asking for a "spec" so he'll know how his 
"harness" should "interface" with you.
7. He'll always do something wrong twice so he can provide 
accurate repro steps.
6. When you tell him that you won't change something, 
he'll offer to allow you two other flaws in exchange for 
changing this one.
5. When you ask him how you look in an outfit, he'll 
actually tell you.
4. When you give him the "It's not you, it's me" breakup 
line, he'll agree with you and give specifics.
3. He won't help change a burned out lightbulb because his 
job is simply to report that it's burned out.
2. He'll keep bringing up old problems that you've since 
worked out just to make sure that they're still gone.

...and the number one way to tell you're dating a 

1. In the bedroom, he keeps "probing" the incorrect 

Stop looking under the light for software bugs!

Under a streetlight, on a very dark night, a software tester was looking for a set of lost keys. A policeman came by and inquired about the object of his search. After the two had searched for some time, the policeman asked, "Are you sure you lost them here?"

"Oh, no," said the software tester. "I lost the keys somewhere else."
"Then why are you looking for them over here?" the policeman asked.
"Because this is where the light is!" the software tester replied.
In early programming age developers knew nothing about the Testers. Therefore, in all their troubles, they blamed the dark forces of nature.

Software testing services order policy:
You can order different types of software testing services:
  • Good
  • Quick
  • Cheap
    You can have any TWO of the THREE:
    --If you want it quick and cheap, it won't be good.
    --If you want it quick and good, it won't be cheap.
    --If you want it cheap and good, it won't be quick.

    software testing logic
    Three software tester are sitting a bar.
    The bartender says: "Would any of you guys like one more drink?"
    The first software tester says: "I don’t know.""
    The second software tester says: "I don’t know.”
    The third software tester says: "No."

  • Government Economist Virus. Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
  • Federal Bureaucrat Virus. Divides your hard drive into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.
  • Paul Revere Virus. This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack—once if by LAN; twice if by C:^.
  • Politically Correct Virus. Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."
  • Oprah Winfrey Virus. Your two hundred megabyte hard drive suddenly shrinks to eighty megabytes, then slowly expands back to two hundred megabytes, and then hires a personal trainer and a chef and shrinks to seventy megabytes.
  • AT&T Virus. Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
  • MCI Virus. Every three minutes it reminds you that you are paying too much for the AT&T virus.
  • Gallup Virus. Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose thirtyeight percent of their data fourteen percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus. Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back to erase your data and say, "Hasta la vista, baby!"
    Latest computer novels: 1) A Tale of Two CDs 2) Gates of Wrath 3) Gone with the Windows 4) War and PC 5) Moby Disk

    Not a Software Tester example


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    © 2005 Alex Samurin