Jokes eXtreme software testing

1. Capture replay tool: A tool that allows you, with the knowledge of only one infinite loop statement, to create an automated script that will run for any required period of time without any verification points and allows you to earn many overtime hours for running as well as for creating the script. Best suited for short-term contactors. Good for cursor moving if you would like to nap in front of the monitor.
2. Son of a bitch tool: Any testing tool that you try to use and it does not work. It is also, most often, the next testing tool that you will need regardless of which tool preceded it. You are usually yelling "Son of a bitch" while using this tool.
3. Bug tracking system: A software-testing tool that allows you to keep information about all the bugs that will never be fixed. Is also good for tracking tax expenses and as a movies database.
4. Load testing tool A tool for testing the maximum capacity for finding a bottleneck in your company network and used to stop end-user activity of everything that is connected to the network including online movie and news websites. Usually load everything you forgot to disconnect from the network. Must be ran during system backup, software installation and check-in the code.
5. Hammer: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a tool that allows you to have a couple days of break from the job by hitting a server or any part of a computer. Do not hit yourself – it can be painful.

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