Two Software testing students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second software tester replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first software tester nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the software tester, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
A priest, a doctor, and a software tester were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The software tester fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here the green-keeper comes. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them." The software tester said, "Why can't they play at night?"
What is the difference between software developers and software testers? Software developers build targets. Software testers broke them sometimes with build weapons.
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with a software testing degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Three software testing students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Software developers believe that if it isnít broke, don't fix it. Software testers believe that if it isnít broke, it doesn't have been tested yet.
Once a software tester was crossing a road, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The software tester took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want." Again, the software tester took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The software tester said, "Look, I'm a software tester. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool."